How to Tell Whether You Are a Risk Manager

There seems to be some confusion among middle management executives as to whether or not they are truly risk managers. This tragic dilemma is one we would like to end. After much research, we have unearthed a great body of knowledge, which we now pass on to you without further charge, purely out of the goodness of our heart.

You know you’re a risk manager when —

• A lot of people suddenly find you irresistibly charming and you discover they are all insurance brokers.

• The company president asks you to find auto insurance for his 17-year-old son who drives a Corvette.

• You notice with alarm that your budget for conferences is greater than your budget for insurance.

• Business Insurance telephones, asking your opinion on insurance subjects about which you have thought little, but for which you have a ready answer.

• You get a survey form asking for your “cost of risk” so you make up a lot of figures to keep them happy.

• You hear about ISO 9000 and think Insurance Services Office is about to inundate you with a bunch of new forms.

• You prepare detailed requirements for contractors to follow which the company ignores when they hire one.

• You attend a RIMS conference and don’t buy dinner for a whole week.

• You nod sagely when you hear the terms “regression analysis” and “standard deviation,” but haven’t the foggiest idea what they mean.

• You are unusually pleased when an employee telephones with a question about what’s in your risk management manual, indicating he has actually read it.

• You are told your company is planning a merger and they want you to advise about possible problems within 7 days.

• Answering queries at a cocktail party about what you do, you get blank stares and people move quietly away.

• You try to read an insurance policy and develop a growing urge to smash someone in the face with a cream pie.

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